I spent 20 days in the hospital- no, two hospitals when my lungs were uncooperative with getting me oxygen. i was out of breath on a 3 block walk to the shoplifters paradise that is ALDI- I sent them a lovely resume and live a block away, they won't hire me either- so i steal more. they are paying me somehow or other. SO i told my free doctor about the breathing problem. I get a consult from an organization who targets old people who hate the doctor, old peeps with heart issues.
I dont know how i hooked up with them. they call me once a month and send a car for me to get there and seeing a dr this often was interesting. anyway- with the breathing issue raring its head i i got myself dropped off and they kept me ten days and put a rubber mask machine over my head that inflated and deflated all night long. it was weird trying to fall asleep with that noisy thing on but i somehow, did and then i woke up at 4 am and ripped it off my head and shit myself. what a night
the nurse was cool about helping me clean up which was helpful because i am too fat to wipe my own ass. i need to start doing yoga to get that crack of the ass reaching stretch back (or lose 100 +lbs.)
I used to really push my body on the road, at night, training for Saturdays violences. come on legs you can do it top speed the other alphas don't run this hard, go squatch go.
my lungs werefull of blood clots. the doctor had a weird technique to get them out. he fished a wire through my heart and it electrically charged and grabbed the clots. it was a new procedure for the hospital so many nurses were witnesses. witnesses to my huge rubbered up wang. yeah that was the focus of many nurses dreams that night....ooh if I just could snuggle a wang like that, what's his name, what rooms he in oh baby whoa wow whoopee. his bed is always warm yeah.
Something about having my Weiner out in the open air there made me pretty. no one else noticed, as usual.
I have very unnoticeable beauty. the beholders eye is distant. I suppose there are many laughs at my lifetime of tortures, at least the viking gods are laughing again, after being wiped out by the cross worshippers who were so good at organizing and genociding and meekly inheriting the earth and what not. but the vikings are only my Saturday pursuit. a berserker on Saturdays. crawling out of a dark hungover morning, often stinking and often still drunk. two large coffees gets me going and the rest is just endurance and seizing the other cheek before it is offered and running really fast. that's the key. speedy violence. getting to the next pile up with a positive affect for the lads who wear the same shirt as I do on this afternoon. regardless of what twats they are in real life or how little our views are similar. on Saturday we share the goal of ass kicking some other towns loony bin. loony on loony violence is a great way to spend and afternoon and then there's gallons of beer late into the night and sometimes a meaningful flirtation leads to sex in the ally with that college kids girlfriend and she decided to dance with the beastly yet clever prop and decided to walk into that alley with me and shit just happens.
so rugby is hard when you can't walk a block without a rest. that's pathetic. that's the end of the line. I can embrace this end or I can push on it. these words are scribbled on my way off this planet. that's the shit I forgot to share with my ex classmates at the 45th reunion we recently had. at the pikeville sportsman's club. which is 300 yards from my parents old farm. so I was all kinds os conflicted driving by the old homestead to interact with the morons who voted me most obnoxious. yeah. it was a freak show there for sure but I had taken a couple of gummies on the way and I was really mellow. so these words are the words of a dying badass and the steps he takes to celebrate this moment of precious life. yeah. I'm living a coffee commercial, the aches the pains the creaky knees the empty days. making the empty days a little less empty by remembering the few bad ass moments in my life here and there. bad ass on a scale never seen by most homo sapiens. I am homo Sasquatch's, the half step backwards physically but three steps ahead mentally a retreat to the neanderthal bloodlines, lets get that genetic test done. there's a gofund me there with a little gambling possible. 49% German, 49% English variants 1% neanderthal and 1% some other thick dicked race. ok so that's a website and a podcast and I do not have the ambition to go talk to losers about not being a loser in my past although my present company refutes any badassery in spades.
